YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME
live free from abuse and violence
YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME
You can get help and support
Live free from abuse and violence
You have the right to live free from abuse and violence or the threat of abuse and violence.
You can get help and support:
Whether you have children or not.
Whether you want to leave your partner or not.
Why don’t they just leave?
Why don’t they just leave? It’s a question that many people ask when they learn about someone being abused. But if you are in an abusive relationship, you know that it is not that simple.
Despite the impact of domestic abuse or violence many people, maybe you yourself included cannot understand why people would stay in an abusive relationship. Ending an important relationship is never easy. It’s even harder when you have been isolated from your friends and family, psychologically torn down, financially controlled and / or physically threatened.
Abuse can come in many forms including name calling or put downs, not being allowed to see family or friends, withholding money, physical harm, sexual assault, jealousy, controlling you and blaming you for their abuse and/or violence.
The main thing is that you are not alone, one in four women and one in six men suffer or have suffered domestic abuse.
It is not easy to seek help and you may feel embarrassed, ashamed, frightened, confused and even guilty. Don’t feel trapped by these feeling. The only thing that matters is your safety.
It’s also not easy to accept or understand that a loved one can act so terribly towards you. Maybe because you cannot explain your partner’s behaviour you may assume that you are to blame. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.
The most important thing is to tell someone. The prospect of leaving an abusive relationship can be as frightening as staying.
You are not to blame for being abused.
Neither are you the cause of your partner’s abusive behaviour.
You deserve to be treated with respect.
You deserve a safe and happy life.
You are not alone. There is help out there.
If you are thinking about leaving
Any ID, birth certificates, driving licence, passport, visa, work permit.
Money, credit/debit cards.
Any court orders or injunctions
Mobile phone and charger.
Children’s favourite toy.
Change of clothes, toiletries and any medication.
Emergency telephone and contact details.
Maybe leave an emergency bag with a trusted friend, relative or support worker.
Taking steps to heal and move on:
The scars of domestic abuse and violence can run deep. The trauma of what you have been through can stay with you long after you have escaped the abusive situation. Counselling, therapy and support groups for domestic abuse survivors can help you process what you have been through and learn how to build new and healthy relationships.
After the trauma that you have been through, you may be struggling with upsetting emotions, frightening memories, a sense of constant danger and / or post-traumatic stress. You may feel numb, disconnected, and unable to trust other people. When bad things happen, it can take a while to get over the pain and feel safe again. But support from family and friends can speed the recovery from emotional and psychological trauma. Whether the traumatic event happened years ago or yesterday, you can heal and move on.